Flowers fall, men do not

Published on Substack on 30-Jan-23 - https://utopiankerala.substack.com/p/flowers-fall-men-do-not

A cousin was sharing the other day that she gets teased by Malayali men in the streets of England. Our brothers have migrated but without leaving their habits from Kerala.

Vayanottam (ogling at others from the street side) is a pastime for men in Kerala. From very casual vayanottam to stalking, men enjoy doing this mostly in their dhotis. Every morning I get to see a few men in my village who does this when other men and women are rushing to their workplace.


It is not that these men do not have any work. They must be back from early morning rubber tapping, about to start their farming activities, or just starting the day with morning paper and tea. Given a chance they are back at the kavala (junction) for vayanottam. They also do pass comments on themselves and others. Occasionally it will be loud enough for everyone to hear.


Their most common subjects would be women and other men who do not join them in vayanottam. The village grapevines get shared during this pastime. Obviously, women do not enjoy this but have been ignoring this for generations.

This vayanottam is exceptionally captured by an artist at Kochi Biennale. Men in their neat white kasavu mundu (white dhotis with golden silk border) are drawn without their bodies above the waistline. It’s nice that various postures of men are captured. There are some flowers lying on the ground. Apparently, flowers fall but malayali men do not. They continue their vayanottam for generations and decades even after they migrate from Kerala.

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